


A New Experiment

by SmolSoldier46



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: A decent amount of angst, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Im still rating it teen and up cause theres loose mentions of the Angel, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Soft TS, Still cant tag, spoilers to Toy Soldier backstory, y'know how the octokittens eat anything?, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:14:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25910422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmolSoldier46/pseuds/SmolSoldier46
Summary: Raphaella convinces the Toy Soldier to join in a new experiment, Marius insists its more like 'therapy' though, whatever that means.Ts going to therapy with their friends and learning that they do have emotions and those emotions are very valid.
Comments: 9
Kudos: 87





	1. The first session

____________________________________________________________________________

The Toy Soldier was a unique creation. 

They didn't have a heart or blood, skin or bone, no they had wood instead. The closest another had gotten to mimicking it was Brian but even then it had something the Toy Soldier only wished for, a body that belonged to it. Because before Brian was brass and wires donning ‘Drumbot’ as a title he was also human, like Johnny and Ashes, the Toy Soldier had never had this blessing. 

That's what had led to this situation. Raphaella was calling it an ‘extended experiment’ while Marius insisted it was more like therapy, the Toy Soldier didn't understand what therapy was so they went with Raphaellas phrasing. Marius had insisted on being present just in case things went wrong and he could put what little he knew about actual doctoring to use and while she knew that would be close to pointless they couldn't argue much. Today was what they agreed was the first session but the Toy Soldier honestly had no clue what that could entail for it.

“It won’t be too bad off the start though I do want you to tell us if you don’t feel comfortable,” Raphaella had explained a couple days ago scribbling things down on a sticky note. “If you want to stop the experiment we will stop immediately no questions asked.”

The Toy Soldier had nodded along getting a vague feeling that this was more serious than other tests and labs. Raphaella rarely stopped in an experiment and even less often had told it to speak up if they felt it was unsafe much less uncomfortable. The Toy Soldier was confused but shook off the feeling instead opting to see if anyone needed help on the ship instead, that's what it was best at afterall. 

Now it sat with Marius and Raphaella in a closed off room in the medical bay. It was mainly white and had two chairs, a couch and a table. When they had arrived tea was laid out while Raphaella and Marius already sat in the chairs holding notebooks and pens. The Toy Soldier made a quick movement to sit on the couch already feeling like an elephant in the small room. 

“Alright let's begin this,” Raphaella mumbled, placing a small audio log on the table. “I assume it's fine if we record this?”

The Toy Soldier nodded quickly. “It’s jolly good Ms.Cognizi!”

Raphaella nodded leaning back in her chair as she took a sip from her mug as Marius began to speak. “ TS, can you explain where you came from?”

“Did you not read the archives file? I'm quite sure Ivy kept it in there!”

Marius shook his head. “No, we read the files TS we just want to hear it from you perspective. See if anything changes.”

Toy Soldier nodded shifting in their seat. It had been a while since they had first recalled the story but still they could recite everything in it clear as day.

“Well first there was a widow,” it began shuffling their hands into their lap.

It knew everything like the back of its palm reciting their experiences one by one in excruciating detail as the two took notes. It was rather easy at first, they had been in a shop and a young lady had picked them up. They referred to them as ‘Alfred’ and overall treated them with kindness. This was how they had learned so many of their common traits from making tea to polite conversation. But as the years grew and piled on she had grown older and older until her unfortunate demise. 

“Did you ever feel like you didn't fit in there?”

The Toy Soldier shook their head. “It was quite nice actually! She made the best cucumber sandwiches, you guys would’ve loved her!”

Marius nodded as he wrote down something on the clipboard waiting patiently for them to continue, they didn't want him to wait much longer.

Next was the museum, that cold and lonely building. It couldn’t remember most of the encounters only that every once in a while a child would come up to it only for their mothers to drag them away with a look of disgust on their face. This didn't make the Toy Soldier very happy and only intensified their growing distaste with the building. “I didn’t feel very comfortable there at all. Nobody talked to me or seemed to be interested in what I was saying, so I left!”

They would be lying if they said that they remembered even the barest of memories from when they had worked with the church. They remembered the pamphlets, some common responses, and the market square but that was about it. It was overall an uneventful experience but it was nowhere near bad. “The people were swell! Most of them seemed to focus on their job to talk though. If it wasn’t for them I never would have met her!”

“Her?” Raphaella questioned.

They nodded joyfully recalling the experience. “She was wonderful! You would’ve loved her Ms.Cognizi!”

She nodded as pointing something out in their notebook for Marius before turning back. “What was her name if you recall Ts?”

“She went by Angel!” they began happily as the memories came flooding back.

The Toy Soldier shared every detail they could recall about the Angel in excruciatingly precise phrases. They explained how the lights on stage shone in her hair or how her eyes had a milky tint to them that they found oh so charming. They explained how her voice sounded as if it could make even the most vain siren jealous and babies stop weeping from miles away. It continued on and on in glee as the two frantically wrote down everything they said. 

“Do you think you could draw them?” Marius curiously asked, holding out his notebook with a clean page.

“Undeniably!” they answered, reaching for the notebook.

It wasn’t difficult for the Toy Soldier to convey her onto a page. They always had been good at portraying people whether that be on paper or through song. As soon as they finished the sketch Toy Soldier handed it back, watching as Marius showed the picture to Raphaella whispering something they couldn't hear. 

“What happened to her?” he asked, flipping to a new page.

It went silent for a minute organizing its thoughts and searching for the best phrasing. “She died…”

“Do you know how?”

They sat there for a while unsure how to answer. They had known exactly how she had died but didn’t exactly want to say it. 

“I killed her.”

The two went silent at that as the Toy Soldier fidgeted uncomfortably in their seat. It wasn’t a pretty death by any means and that just made the situation worse.

“Do you know why?” Raphaella had questioned.

They shook their head. “I just did, I don't-I don't really know how to explain it.”

“Can you try?”

Taking in a deep breath they began. “I just- I felt hurt? I don't know the right term but I felt like I was underwater. I didn’t know what to do and I just wanted her gone. I wanted her to suffer. I-I wanted her to feel what I felt I wanted her to understand how that felt.”

“You wanted revenge?” Marius asked curiously.  
The Toy Soldier nodded guiltily. “I think I regret it.”

They reached shakily for the cup of tea that sat in front of them taking a hesitant sip. “It felt at first but it quickly just started to feel, well, wrong. I felt as if it was a mistake but I couldn’t change it so I just-well I moved on.”

They three sat in silence for a bit as the Toy Soldier stared down at their hands blank of any emotion. Usually they were just happy, they didn't have a reason to be sad and they barely knew what it would feel like yet that felt right now. They didn’t think they could feel anything besides joy anymore but apparently they had been very very wrong.

“Are you ok?” Raphaella began cautiously. “Do you need to stop?”

“No I just- how can you tell if you're sad?”

“How can I tell if I'm sad?” she asked, confused by the odd question.

“Yeah I just,” they paused for a second. “Just forget it, what was your next question Ms.Cognizi?”

“You’re doing it again,” Marius interrupted.

“I don’t know what you mean!” it responded, getting more cheerful in tone.

“You’re changing your tone and brushing things under the rug, for this to work you need to tell us how you feel. You asked how to tell if you're sad right? It’s kind of like regret but less bitter most of the time. You just feel like you can’t continue and want to give in. Is that what you're looking for?”

“I think so,” it concluded. “I think that's how I feel, sad.”

“Do you need anything?” Raphaella asked, glancing around the room. “Do you want your mandolin? We can get you something if you need it, you can also stop.”

They shook their heads in refusal. “I think I can keep going right now but can I have one of your notebooks? I just want to draw, do something with my hands.”

Marius handed the toy soldier their notebook and pen from across the table watching as they carefully took the objects and began to scribble on the page. It was silent for a bit as it began to zone in on their drawing focusing more and more on the picture before Raphaella spoke up. 

“Do you often feel this way?” she asked.  
They shrugged unsure of how to answer. “Sometimes I guess, it's usually not too bad though! On occasion it can be a little bit overwhelming but I can deal with that!”

“How do you deal with it?”

“I usually just let it run its course if you want to know! Nothing can stick forever if you can too!”

It laughed joyfully at its own joke oblivious to the looks both Marius and Raphaella gave to each other. “You do this every time?”

They nodded at the question happily sketching away in the notebook.

“I think that's enough for today,” she concluded. “What have you been drawing?”

“Well I was trying to sketch you! It’s not perfect but I think it's quite nice!” They then proceeded to show off their labors quite proud of the picture. 

She nodded, getting up from her chair and walking over to the doorway. “We’ll talk again next week but for now I'm just gonna finish up some research, have a good day TS.”

With that she left leaving just Marius and them in the room. “Do you want your own notebook?”

Their eyes lit up at the question. “Really?! That sounds absolutely Spiffing!”

He nodded getting up from his chair as well picking up the empty mugs left out on the table, “I’ll bring a new one next week alright? If you need to talk to me or Raph, alright?”

“Understood!”

With that Marius left the room leaving just the Toy Soldier and their mug. They had barely finished half of their drink but it was too cold to be considered good tea anymore. After a while of sitting they eventually decided it was time to leave and move on with their day. Time didn’t wait for anyone and while they didn’t have anything planned for the day they still didn't want to waste it. 

With that the Toy Soldier felt a little more human than before.


	2. Tea and Biscuits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The effects of the Toy Soldiers therapy sessions

The sessions went rather smoothly after that. The Toy Soldier would come in with a pen and notebook doodling whatever they felt like as it answered and questions Marius and Raphaella had. It had morphed into a schedule after a short while allowing the wooden doll to have something to look forward to.

It wasn’t always sunshine and rainbows however, every once in a while they would trek into more unfamiliar territory and explore the things that the Toy Soldier didn't often think about. They had set up a series of signals that they can give or motion at in the room if they felt too uncomfortable to continue, so far they had only used it once. 

Overall Raphaella had proudly proclaimed that the experiment was working and tended to talk to them more often out of the sessions. This delighted the Toy Soldier very much, it was difficult to find somebody who would willingly sit near them most of the time and to not be ordered around or injured only made the greetings all the sweeter. 

Marius had also begun to warm up to their presence and often invited them around as they did whatever task they thought necessary. They insisted the Toy Soldier didn't need to help them with it despite their insistence so instead they opted to tell stories as he worked. The stories varied drastically but after a while they fell into a routine where he would ask for a vague genre or certain environment and the soldier would provide. 

Today the doctor had decided to learn a new recipe in the kitchen and had brought them along for the ride. His main reason for this was that it was always good to have another hand in the kitchen and that nobody else on the ship really wanted to join. Cheerfully they followed and made the decision to drag a stool over to the counter so they could sketch as the two talked.

“What do you feel like hearing about today?” they asked delightedly.

“Surprise me,” he answered rummaging through the pantry they had and pulling out a variety of ingredients.

The Toy Soldier nodded and began the retelling of what they often proclaimed to be one of their fondest memories. Back in King Cole's war they had been tasked multiple times with raising morale in the smaller communities that had been ransacked. None of the other Rose Reds had wanted the job so they just ordered them to take care of the situation. Their favorite time was when they got to play with a huddle of orphans before they had been taken to a safer planet. It was mainly them singing and playing the mandolin for the kids but some had asked if they could mess around with their hat and jacket. 

“I met one of them a long while back! They happened to still remember me and said that I did quite a favor for the younger ones!” It proclaimed proudly.

“Oh really?” Marius asked curiously leaning against the counter. “How were they?”  
“They had been doing well!” they proclaimed sketching quickly. “They had a kid and wife then as well as a steady job! Quite a spiffing young lad too!”

“Well that's good. At Least somebody got lucky during the war,” he commented. 

They nodded in agreement before proudly showing off their sketch. It was of the orphan from the war and labeled accordingly. They wore a tophat and still looked a little thin for an adult but overall happy.

“We had some tea and exchanged stories before deciding its best if we part ways!” they added. “He had a wife and kids to get back to and I had you guys! We also didn't really want to scare the children!”

It laughed as the timer went off signaling for Marius to finish up with the cookies. 

After that it only took a short period of time for the rest of the crew to join them passing in and out as they snatched the baked goods from the counter. The Toy Soldier had opted to make tea instead since that happened to be a bit more of a nice treat, not that they thought the cookies tasted bad just that they couldn't taste much. 

“I've actually been meaning to ask Ts, when you drink or eat where does it go?”

They stared at the kettle blankly as they thought with a glossy expression. “I think it just is all transferred into a fertilizer like material that my body can use to grow.” it concluded. “I do have to sand myself every once in a while to prevent any unwanted sprouting.”

He nodded at the answer as the soldier picked out two mugs from the cabinet. They set both on the table and quickly finished the task at hand. “I can still heal if I don't eat for a while and for liquids I think it just separates the water from the other ingredients!”

“Raphealla would probably get a kick out of that,” he laughed, grabbing his mug.

“She would!” they agreed.

It continued like this for a while and the rest of the crew seemed to catch on. The Toy Soldier became more cheerful than anyone thought possible now but it seemed less fake. Instead each reaction and sentence felt more natural rather than scripted. Jonny had even decided to ask them more often for stories and accounts on the planets they passed by even asking it to sketch out the people they had met. 

Everything had sunken into routine for a while and both Raphaella and Marius had become quite proud of their experiments results so far. The Toy Soldier had undeniably improved in manner and mood as the sessions went on and felt a small rush of joy every time they happened across the Toy Soldier excitedly sketching quick portraits as they explained a past adventure they had gone on. That's why it was a little surprising when slowly the Toy Soldier fell out of that routine shortly after their arrival back from the City.


	3. A sinking feeling

At first it was difficult to notice. They acted exactly as before but after a while small signs had started to show up. They fiddled with almost everything in their hands and drew a lot more than before. Besides that they seemed around everybody on the ship and would back up if somebody got to close, something they rarely did before. The Toy Soldier never addressed this to them so Marius and Raphaella had thought it would just be a small phase and that they just needed to reintroduce themselves with the crew. 

As time went by however that proved to be far from the case. Instead they had grown more and more distant and retreated back to an almost docile state. Marius had asked if they wanted to join them again while baking only for them to politely decline.

“I’ll pass old chap,” they had said. “Better to not have any distractions in the kitchen.”

They had then followed the statement with a cheerful laugh before marching down the halls. He decided its best not to bother them right now and instead ended up making biscuits in silence. 

“They didn’t come?” Raphaella questioned once he had finished.

“Yup,” he answered. “I even asked if they wanted to join and they just said they would be a distraction.”

She sighed reaching for one of the baked goods on the table. She thought that they had made good progress and letting them go alone for a while wouldn’t hurt, besides the Toy Soldier was its own being and it had managed all this time until it had met them just fine. Obviously that had not been the case.

“The question is do we confront them or do we want to wait for them to talk about it?”he began. “On one side this could get worse, on the other they could only feel forced and trust us less.”

Raphealla took a deep breath. “I think we should wait for them to calm down a bit and if they still don’t show signs of improvement we should then, and only then, confront them.”

Marius nodded in understanding as he leaned back into his chair. “Let's change the topic.”

It took around a week to see improvement in the Toy Soldiers attitude, it was slow and only minor things currently but was still better than nothing. They had started to follow some of the other crew around the ship and ask small questions about things again. The crew had been happy to provide answers for them in hopes to encourage them to continue but every time they simply nodded their head and went silent. 

The situation had gotten to a point where Jonny pulled Marius aside while wandering the ship. He had asked if they had finally snapped but he simply shook his head. 

“We think they just need some time to get used to the crew again but if this gets worse Raphaella and I are going to intervene.”

He nodded at the answer and proceeded to walk away without another word. From there on he had proceeded to look for the Toy Soldier more and more around the ship which proved more difficult than it first appeared. For a being who had no clue what social cues often meant they were rather good at avoiding conversation when they felt like it. Sometimes they wouldn't make a presence all day only to show up at night carving small detailed sculptures or sketching random people in their notebook. The first times Marius had stumbled across this he tried to avoid them silently making their way past to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

“I can hear you behind me Marius!” they proclaimed not bothering to glance up as they focused on some of the smaller details in their sculpture. “It’s fairly rude to not greet somebody!”

“Sorry I thought you didn’t want to be bothered,” he answered slightly shocked by their sudden speech.

“It's completely fine. I thought I had made it clear that you can talk to me when you need to! It is much nicer than being ignored.”

“Right.” 

The two stood in silence for a bit before the Toy Soldier got up placing their carving gently on the table. “I'm going to go visit the octokittens. Please go back to sleep soon since it will help with your health.”

With that they walked out of the room and down the hall leaving their notebook and carving behind. He listened as their footsteps faded out into the background before trying to take their advice.


	4. Reintroduction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Toy Soldiers thoughts after rejoining their crew

Their return on the ship had been odd to say the least. It was always weird coming back after a while of going missing but this time it felt much much more different. When they had wandered the city they had to relearn their past behaviors which is to say they had to practically reform their personality yet again. It was exhausting to say the least, they had just been getting the hang of what the city expected of them and now they had to drop it all.

It wasn’t easy in the city when you looked different. Brian had it relatively easy compared to them, he didn't have to be concerned about emotions and had an ability that allowed them to not only make a profit but also to tell exactly where those profits would head, the Toy Soldier could only take orders. Dionysus was nice enough about their predicament and often came to visit them directly and even gave them a small apartment to stay in when not working claiming they had worked hard enough to earn it.

They appreciated the gesture even if it was somewhat pointless. 

It had started with small gestures and movements with the crew, nothing too big. They tried to walk out and make an attempt to stay near the crew, talking was a whole other situation though. In the city they comforted people which typically just consisted of sitting in silence as a customer cried in their laps or just hugged them for an extended period of time, not much room for talking. On Top of that the few times it did talk it was typically asked and told exactly what to say. So it was going to take a bit for them to rework their speech patterns and stories to a point where it felt comfortable to share them. 

For a bit they thought they had been making progress! They were around the crew a lot compared to when they first returned so that was something. Even if it wasn't much they had been proud of this reshaping and that was what really mattered, didn't it?

Apparently not. They had noticed the stares the rest of the crew gave it. It wasn’t necessarily hard to see how Johnny had looked at them in the halls, how he moved a bit slower just to criticize them. It wasn’t hard to notice how Raphaella had been keeping an eye on them from the dining table when they had tried to make breakfast. They had been foolish to think that a simple breakfast would fix whatever problem their presence had caused but it had been worth a try. 

It had always been noticeable in the crew it had just reached a peak after their journey to the city. The final straw, the nail in the coffin, had been in a conversation with Nastya. She had been quite stressed with Aurora and they had tried to help to the best of their abilities with calming the tension, bringing snacks, playing music, and at that moment trying to provide a form of comfort. Their form of comfort was apparently not as appreciated as they had hoped though.

“Cheer up old chap! I’m sure she’ll come around,” they had said in a chipper tone.

“What would you know about that, you don’t even feel like she does.” 

That had shut them right up. Nastya looked at them with concern etched on her face as she realized exactly what she had just implied. They leaned against the wall pushing themselves up from their sitting position.

“Ts, that's not what I meant,” she said, reaching for them. “I didn’t mean to sound like you-”

“No it's fine Ms.Rasputina please I don’t mind! I’m sure it will all work out in the end between you and Aurora, I’ll leave you two alone for now.”

With that they briskly walked out of the room and down the hall. It hurt more than they had thought it would to be told that, but it was the truth wasn't it? They were made of wood and what? Definitely not emotion, that was the answer. They didn’t exactly know where they had decided to head, maybe to the octokittens, maybe to the small garden. 

They ended up nowhere near those two places and instead in an average sized storage room deep in the ship. The lights weren't on but that was fine, they didn't need to light to see anyway. There happened to be a small family of octokittens who had probably gotten lost cuddling in the corner waiting until they had sat down before investigating. The first had come to lay on their lap while another opted instead to chew on their arm as they pet its head. 

“And I just got this suit to…” Toy Soldier mumbled as they tried weakly to push them off. “Come on my feline friend, at least don't eat the uniform.”

The octo kitten didn't listen until they had rolled up their pants on the other leg, only then had they decided to investigate the new meal.

The one on their lap had purred happily as it pawed at their suit and rubbed against their hand. It was one of the fluffier ones with gray fur and odd symbols all across its body. The small creature let out a gurgly meow that rivaled any underwater creature as it was scratched behind the ears. Ts were content to some extent in this room but still upset, no, they didn't feel anything they had already established this earlier.

It took a while before they had decided to just zone out as the octokittens surrounded them gnawing at their arm, hand, and leg. One had already taken a chunk out of their leg and now chewed it happily at the corner, it didn't matter since they could regenerate but it still was a bit odd to look at. 

After a short while the Toy Soldier decided to do something it hadn’t wanted to do in a long time and sleep for at least a year as they sat huddled in the small room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not posting for a while, stuck in a rut I guess. (-w- ;)


	5. Lost and Found

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ts isn't vibing in this so if you're uncomfortable with descriptions of injury and disassociation then please either don't read or proceed with caution. If there's any other warnings I should put feel free to leave them in the comments. Thank you for reading and thank you for the support!

Now was the period of time where Raphaella had really begun to panic. She had seen the toy soldier only a few days ago and now it had suddenly gone missing with no track. She knew that it had been bad but she was almost sure that it had been improving and was more comfortable with the crew, apparently that was not the case. 

Her first suspicion was that Jonny had thrown them out the airlock. He hadn’t done this in a while but the idea had never completely left her mind. That was quickly forgotten about when she greeted Jonny that evening.

“What do you mean TS is missing?” he had asked immediately, dropping the bunch of songs he had been working on. 

“Yes I thought you might know where it is,” she answered. “Do you really have no clue where it went?”

Jonny shook his head and began gathering up the loose materials and shoving them back into their respective areas, that was going to be a mess to clean up later. He looked frantic and had soon been speeding down the hallways with Raphaella trailing close behind.

“Where are you going?” she questioned trying to keep his pace.

“To find Nastya,” he explained. “Aurora keeps tapes last I checked if she finds something she likes, Nastya probably is able to access the tapes being her girlfriend and all that.”

It was weird to Jonny so dedicated to this. Sure he cared about the crew, no matter how much he said he didn’t, but this level of concern was new. She tried to think of another time she had seen him so frantic about something but it came up blank. He was never this concerned about the crew's wellbeing which could only mean that something had happened that was bad enough to frighten the uncaring (as he claimed) first mate. 

It wasn’t hard to find Nastya cuddling with a server board in the main engines room, though the scene was notably duller. She had a couple more blankets than normal covering herself as well as two cold mugs left abandoned on the floor next to her. That's what had caught their eyes and convinced them that TS had been here, they always had a tendency to comfort people no matter what that person wanted (it was always charming in a way, the fact they never left them alone before this whole mess). 

Jonny had been first to react lightly shaking her shoulder until she sat up and began to groggily readjust her glasses.

“TS?” she asked sleepily.

“No not exactly,” he responded. “Care to tell us what happened?”

She was saddened at the answer but nodded in agreement.

“They’re upset,” she explained, “I accidentally implied they weren’t real when they had come to visit me and that ended up being the final straw. I wasn’t trying to upset it I just,”

Both of them stood there listening as she rambled until Jonny stepped in seemingly having enough with the self pity. 

“You definitely need to apologize to them but more importantly we need to know where they are,” she stated. “Can Aurora, I don't know, like, can she track them?”

She nodded in agreement as some of the lights flickered on in the room leading out the door. Raphaella turned around glancing down the hallway as more hall lights turned on and off leading deep into the ship. 

“Yeah she likes to keep track of everyone just in case something happens. I’m sure even you know what to do Jonny.”

He walked out giving her a small glare before rushing off down the hallway a little slower than before. They knew where TS was and that was a step in the right direction, they did not however know what they were feeling currently. 

Marius and her had spent some of the sessions asking it about its emotions but usually that ended quite quickly as it had desperately changed the topic around to something else, the tea being cold was a consistent excuse to leave or get one of them to leave. The one thing they had gotten undeniable proof of was that they did get upset, they just showed it very differently. 

It took longer than they would’ve liked to find where TS had been hiding and one to many curved hallways to finally reach it. The lights in this area were much duller than before and every shadow of an octokitten that brushed past had made Jonny cringe in distaste. Almost as soon as they had found the small room that Aurora had led them to he had run in set on the singular goal of finding their friend (though he would never admit that).

It was not a pleasant sight to look at to say the least. The most noticeable thing was the small horde of octokittens surrounding it either gnawing on a limb or rubbing cheerully against them. It was dazed and seemed unable to notice what was going on around it. Its hand moved in small petting motions repeating over and over with jerky mechanical movements as one ocotkitten bit on it. A leg was strewn to the side and their clothes were in tatters at the ends. Jonny shot one bullet into the swarm and they proceeded to scatter off into the distance, this did not however startle the Toy Soldier who continued their repetitive motions with a hollow gaze.

He cursed before leaning down and shaking TS as she quickly began to message Marius about the situation. She knew it was going to be upsetting but she didn't think they would be stuck in a loop unable to respond to them.

“TS! TS look at me,” Jonny shouted, waving a hand in front of their friends' faces. 

He grabbed their hand and that seemed to be what it took for them to snap out of the state, though not completely. It looked at him with hazy unfocused eyes as their hand stopped and dropped to their side teeth marks littered through the ripped leather and wood. 

“Hey, hey, okay, we’re here, you're safe,” he began gently trying to comfort them.

It didn’t move under his grasp simply continued with its bone chilling stare and he spoke sweet nothings. He had never been good at comfort but right now that was the best thing he could offer and Jonny would be damned if he didn’t do his best at it. As he did this he carefully grabbed what pieces he could and began to gather them into a pile. Some were easy to see, the leg, a piece of an arm, a finger, while others were a little more difficult. He even was soon able to notice the piece of wood that sparsely covered its vocal cords laying loosely around their neck. He had never been squeamish but that sight had made a shiver go down his spine.

As Jonny worked Raphaella had messaged the others updating them on the current situation and soon she could hear Marius sprinting down the hall towards them. He was panting by the time he arrived and had a small first aid kit in his hand.

“What happened?” he asked frantically, trying to glance behind her.

“They got in a bit of a disagreement and we found them like this,” she gestured inside. “We’re trying to calm it down but that's barely working, I’m not even sure they're registering Jonny.”

He nodded silently joining the first mate in their attempt at comfort trying to not glance at the small pile of limbs that rested next to it. This was going to take a bit to heal.


	6. Friendship

It didn’t know what was going on. It felt the small pains it felt the vibrations and it felt the cool air, it still didn’t know what was going on. So it did what it always did, it sat through it. 

Sitting through things wasn’t fun. They could never tell what was happening around them but sometimes that was nice. It gave them time to reflect on everything. It gave them time to reflect on how to be better at pretending.

That was the problem right? Nastya said they didn’t feel the same but they could pretend to feel the same and that would be close enough for her right? It didn’t know anymore. Everyone wanted it to pretend to be something else and no matter what it just seemed to never get it right. Being cheerful was the next best thing, a good distraction for everyone involved because who doesn’t like an optimistic friend? An optimistic friend is a good friend, a friend who can help you, a friend who does as asked and stay cheerful even in the most dire of situations. That's all it wanted to be, a good friend. 

Seems it couldn’t even be that.

Its thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a loud noise, it didn't recognize that noise. All it recognized was the hand on its shoulder and warmth that followed. They tried to ground themselves to that, it was a nice sensation, one of care and compassion. It didn’t often get nice things like this and it wanted it to last. 

Things passed in a blur after that. They felt more people around them and they felt them being lifted up. They heard a scream, they heard footsteps and that was around it. It was hard to focus on the world around them right now. After a bit they felt comfortable. They felt soft sheets under themselves and they clinged to that. It wasn’t the same as being held but it was still nice. 

They laid there for a while before feeling something different, not painful but not pleasant. A sensation in limbs long since lost as pieces of themselves were pushed back together in an attempt to repair them. It didn’t work that easily, it took time for them to regrow it wouldn't just return in a day. 

It felt bandages next. They surrounded their hands and moved carefully around each joint. Not every part of them was covered, just the really bad ones. It wasn’t as soft as the bed but it was probably necessary if they wanted to come back in one nice piece. They would need to sand everything down anyway, to help prevent sprouting. A new paint job would probably be needed after words too, octokittens had never expressed a distaste for paint before and now probably wasn’t an exception for that either. 

They didn’t need sleep but right now they wanted nothing more than to close their eyes and let it pass over. It didn’t want to pretend right now, it just wanted to rest.

Marius was not exactly thrilled to find it in this condition and million things ran through their head almost immediately. One of these emotions was quite clearly panic which fed into their dread and then guilt before focus. They were a doctor whether they had a degree or not. They knew the basics of first aid and they knew how the Toy Soldier worked on a basic scale, that would hopefully be enough. 

“Jonny I need you to pick up their feet and Raph pick up their torse, I’ll grab their limbs. You head to medbay and try to avoid the rest of the crew, got it?”

He nodded and the two began to quickly pick up their friend as Marius gathered the strewn about chips. It wasn’t exactly pleasant to hold the extent of your friends flesh and muscles but it wasn’t like they were just going to perfectly heal themselves. That was something unique about them, they rested in between Brain's ability to manually repair themselves and the others ability to let wounds heal naturally. It was a weird stage and in no way pleasant to deal with. 

Luckily Jonny and Raphealla were at least decent at following requests and they helped him cautiously replace the missing limbs and chunks from their body. Multiple pieces would take weeks to heal just to make up for the other limbs missing entirely, and that's not even considering the possibility of them growing back wrong. 

It took longer than either one would’ve liked to finish and throughout the whole panicked sequence TS didn’t even flinch. They continued to just stare blankly at the ceiling from the cot they had been laid upon and showed no desire to stop. Marius was still panicking at this and even the slight possibility that they might have been too late. It didn’t have a pulse like the others, he couldn’t just check in and make sure they were still running so he was left to wait and just wish they would wake up.

They all stood there for a while before Raphealla eventually spoke up. “We can’t just hide this from the rest.”

She wasn’t wrong but it didn’t make the situation easier to deal with. 

“Can we wait until they’re at least conscious?” Jonny pipped in carefully taking its hand in their own. “I mean I agree that they need to know but I don’t know if it's our job to just tell everyone. They’re going to ask questions anyway and we don’t have the answers for those.”

Marius nodded in agreement. “We can’t just let this fly by under the radar but for now it's probably best to not cause more panic than necessary.”

After that they sat in silence for a bit just watching and waiting. It was never pleasant to see anyone on the crew in bandages but to see somebody familiar this injured was new and disturbing for him. Their legs and hands had been completely covered as well as their neck in an attempt to let the wood grow back sturdy and in one piece. Their head was also covered after finding a handful of holes piercing deep into the wood and acidic burn marks just above the ear. He had been lucky to find some now ruined cleaning rags to clean up anything that might cause rot or infestation, it had expressed that even though it ‘didn’t feel things’ it didn’t like the sensations of anything crawling around in itself (even the mere thought of it made Marius a more uncomfortable than he would like to admit). 

It took a while before any of them even humoured the thought of leaving and only slightly longer to set up a check in schedule between the three. Call it silly but they didn’t want the Toy Soldier to just wake up with nobody nearby to help. It needed good friends right now and they would be damned if they didn’t give them that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Its gonna get better from this point forwards I'm going to stop being as painful, thats not to say it won't still have sad bits its just to say they're not gonna get hurt as bad physically moving forward.


End file.
